My name is Matthew Frederick Davis Hemming, and I am a peachy-tan coloured human being with brown hairs, blue eyes and a wide, frowning scar above my right knee. I am about 1.8 metres tall, and I weigh around 80 kilograms (or 801 Newtons) at 1G. I am not missing any significant parts of my body (I still live with my appendix and tonsils, for instance). I tend to speak English. I have been known to speak French. Also, I have been known in the Biblical sense. I have one wife and one of each flavour of children.

[ My Daughter's Homepage ][ My Son's Homepage ]

I have two sisters and one brother. And a half-sister and a step-sister and a step-brother, too.

[ My Brother's Band ][ My Father's Restaurant ]

I currently live in a century-old schoolhouse in the lakeside village of Gilford which is a part of the town of Innisfil in the foresty province of Ontari-ari-ario which is located in a lovely place called Canada (which is the frosty, northern part of North America, stretching from the Pacific to the Atlantic to the Arctic oceans). I like Canada. Things and people rarely explode here, and we've got so much potable water we wash our socks in it. I enjoy great personal freedom, and am allowed to vote for whichever political party I dislike the least. Fascist pigs rarely attempt to violate my human rights. I do wish that summer were longer, though.

[ Old Schoolhouse ][ Innisfil ][ Ontario ][ Canada ][ The West ][ The World ][ Parts of the World I Have Personally Seen ]

I make my living as a kind of art whore, who plies his creative craft in exchange for legal tender. I spend my free time making up stories or creating illustrated books for publication through my pet corporate entity, StoryZoo Studios.

[ MFDH's StoryZoo Studios ][ Books ]

I love and am loved by my dog Persephone, and my cats Schrodinger. (I'm not sure if the fish love me, but they do like it when I rain dried shrimp flakes on their heads.)

[ Our Pets ]

My hobbies include typing stories, drawing, taking photographs, sailing dinghies, fencing and screwing around with the computer-like appliances. My wife bought me some sort of robotic telescope that knows more about the sky than I do. I enjoy quality cinema, as well as movies where spaceships explode.

[ Random Drawings ][ My Photography ][ My Apple Page ][ My Star Wars Page ][ Uncertain ]

On the Internet, where no one knows you are a dog, I am known by a pen name. Some of my recent projects include an on-line novel, an anthology of short fiction, memoirs about my first child's birth, and two illustrated storybooks.

[ Simon of Space ][ Sensible Flying Shoes ][ The Trimester Reports ][ Goodbye to Kitty ][ 17 Drawings ]

I order escargots at fancy restaurants. I also love poutine. I am fond of the occasional cheeseburger, too, even though beef gives me the willies. When I have nothing else to whistle I tend to whistle Rimsky-Korsakov's Scheherazade, which is also a fine book. My favourite colour is Prussian Blue, and my favourite shape is spheroid. My favourite size is big and my favourite noise is "zoom!" Two of my favourite numbers are sixteen and pi. One of my favourite letters is are.

[ Cheeseburgers ][ Poutine ][ Escargots ][ Rimsky-Korsakov ][ One Thousand and One Nights ]

If you have enjoyed what you see here at my website, please pass it on. You are the Web. Linking, whether deep- or otherwise, is fine. Hotlinking media elements is discouraged however, and permission should be obtained before mirroring any content.

[ E-mail ][ MySpace ][ Facebook ]

I first uploaded a website to the world wide web in 1996, when I was twenty-one years old. The website you are reading now was last updated on the 27th of July, 2008. I thank you for your attention / je vous remercie pour votre attention.

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