Jag the Dog (1994-2005)

Jag Ister-Mister Bubba Ozols-Hemming (Canis familiaris inky-stinky) is a Rottweiler-Newfoundlander cross born in 1994. Jag would naturally have a thick coat of fluffy, black fur, but we usually keep him sheared down to his ruddy-brown base-coat for the sake of his comfort (seeing as we tend to spend very little time swimming through icy Atlantic waters while living here in smoggy uptown Toronto). Though he is getting on in years for a big dog, Jag has the disposition of a puppy: he is frisky, playful, and buoyantly enthusiastic about just about anything. In 2000 Jag suffered from a bout of hip dysplasia, an affliction common to large breeds. He was expertly repaired by Dr. Jim Wilson of the McCowan Animal Clinic in Scarborough, and made a splendid recovery after a few months of heart-breaking hobbling and and hilarious hopping. Jag takes a medicinal supplement to his meals to help correct a hormone imabalance caused by his hypothyroidism. Due in part to his penchant for having his thoughts voiced in anagrammtic and backwards-speaking rhyming slang (a tradition begun years ago by dog-groomer and general zoophile Julie Blair, for reasons not altogether understood by the author of this bio), Jag has many aliases, including but not limited to Gaj, Gibby, Ister-Mister, Stinky, Wagging-Tail Puppy and Poopity-oopity-ippity-pippity. Jag's favourite activities include grunting like a pig while rolling on the grass with his tongue lolling out, licking his favourite titten, and being asked rhetorical questions with sing-song inflection (eg, "Who's an inking-stinking god? Is it this puppy right here? Uppity-puppity?"). Jag has been known to fart. In his twelfth year Jag developed Addison's Disease, which means he had to take a but a bazillion pills a day in order to stay alive. He fought the disease for about a year, but was put down in the spring 2005. Jag Vocabulary Sampling (Excerpted from The Gaj Dictionary by Konrads Ozols, 1998) Doof = Food Dookie = Biscuit Gipsrea = Dried Pig's Ear Arving-Starving = Dinner Time Neam Tac = Mean Cat