This screenplay was originally written for a filmmaking friend called the Black Serb who never ended up making the movie -- for a host of reasons that comprise quite another story, which shall be told at another time.
This story is about a quiet, affable young man from another dimension who experiences time backwards.
SCENE I
Darkness.
Fade up: A dirty, dark alley: a clean nude boy lies in the foetal position in a puddle of swill.
Darkness.
Superimposed: EGON BOTTLE
Fade up: a student sits, eyes glazed -- camera moves back to reveal a dank classroom of equally numbed students. The boy is named KILGORE.
Darkness.
Superimposed: a Somebody film
Fade up: a girl in profile stares blankly at an empty canvas. The girl is named MARY.
Darkness.
Superimposed: written by Cheeseburger Brown
Fade up: KILGORE moves in slow motion, tearing up a paper in extreme frustration. Also in slow motion, MARY knocks over a can of red paint and it spatters spots resembling blood on her hand. Fade out.
SCENE II
KILGORE and MARY walk through a murky city, each lost in their own dreary thoughts.
MARY: How did it go today?
KILGORE: About the same.
They walk in silence for a bit longer, turning into an alley.
MARY: I've got painters' block.
KILGORE: That's too bad.
We see their feet closely as they pass through a muddy puddle.
MARY: I don't know what I'm going to do.
KILGORE: Neither do I.
Darkness.
A clean nude boy lies in a foetal position in a puddle of swill.
Cut to KILGORE and MARY, standing and staring.
KILGORE: That's really weird.
MARY nods. Fade out.
SCENE III
A drab room: the puddle boy sits wrapped in a blanket, shivering. KILGORE paces the foreground, smoking. He makes several passes, carrying an open book. The puddle boy's name is EGON.
We now see MARY sitting anxiously on another chair.
MARY: What should we do with him?
KILGORE: I don't know.
MARY (to puddle boy): Who are you?
Puddle boy shivers quietly.
KILGORE: He just came right out of the puddle.
MARY: Maybe he's lost.
KILGORE: Maybe. (Pause.) I'm going to fail this test.
MARY: Don't be stupid. You've been studying for days.
KILGORE: I haven't absorbed any of it. I'm just not interested in the relative abundance of isotopes.
MARY: So why are you taking the course?
KILGORE: I've got to take something -- got to have some kind of career.
MARY: Why don't you take a career in something you like?
KILGORE: I don't like anything. (Pause.) I'm going to fail, I know it.
MARY: No you're not.
EGON: He will.
MARY: What did you say?
EGON: He will.
KILGORE: He will what?
EGON: You will fail your test.
MARY: What?
KILGORE: How do you know that?
EGON: I remember it will happen.
KILGORE: What the hell do you mean? How can you remember what hasn't happened yet?
EGON: Don't you remember? It's so soon.
KILGORE: I remember the past, just like everyone else.
EGON: I do not remember what has already happened, only what's to be.
KILGORE and MARY look at one another. Fade out.
SCENE IV
We see a text book of complicated physics diagrams. A finger points to a section. An image of that section of the diagram being drawn in pencil flashes dreamily into view -- return to textbook.
EGON: You will have to draw this diagram.
KILGORE: Okay, okay, got it. Next?
EGON: You will be asked to list these principles.
KILGORE and EGON are seated across from one another at a small table, drinking tea. I think maybe it's Earl Grey, but I could be wrong.
KILGORE: What did you come from?
EGON: I don't know. It's already happened.
Pause.
KILGORE: If you can only remember the future, how do you know what question I just asked you?
EGON (considering): Just the same way that you might know what someone is going to say next. I can tell from how the conversation seems to be running what might have transpired in the past.
KILGORE: ...Oh. It must be wonderful knowing what your future holds. There's nothing to be afraid of.
EGON: I'm afraid of what might have happened in the past.
KILGORE: I'm afraid of what's going to happen to me in the future, I mean, I don't know if I can cut it out there. I don't want to be poor.
EGON: Poor?
KILGORE: You know, when you don't have any money so you haven't got enough to eat or anything.
EGON: We call that "hungry."
KILGORE: Yeah, we call it that, too. But I mean it's when you haven't got the right kind of job -- like a dead-end career.
EGON: Will you have a dead-end career?
KILGORE: I don't know yet.
EGON: You forget?
KILGORE: No, I already told you: I only remember the past.
EGON gives him a blank look. Pause.
KILGORE: So anyway, that's why I'm working so hard to get educated, so I can get a good job.
EGON: What is a good job?
KILGORE: It's one where you're not poor.
EGON: How can you tell which one will not make you poor if you cannot remember the future?
KILGORE (dejected): ...I wish I knew.
SCENE V
An image of a drop of water falling in slow motion into a puddle. Splash. A white-washed image of EGON saying, "I do not remember what has happened, only what's to be."
MARY, KILGORE and EGON walk through a barren park.
MARY: It's so gross out.
KILGORE: Uh-huh.
EGON (pleased): It will be beautiful.
MARY: But it isn't now, Egon.
EGON: I am comforted by memories.
SCENE VI
A pool hall: KILGORE enters with EGON, approaches a few chums at a nearby table.
CHUM 1: How'd your test go, Kilgore?
KILGORE: Amazing, thanks to him. (Indicates EGON.) Guys, this is Egon Bottle -- he remembers the answers on the tests for me.
CHUM 2: What do you mean?
KILGORE: Egon here remembers the future.
CHUM 1: Yeah, right. Want to play some stick?
KILGORE: Sure. Let's play Egon and me against you two.
CHUM 2: Hey Egon, you ever play pool before?
EGON: Could be. I don't really know.
EGON's eyes. A ball rolls across the table, white-washed and dreamy. EGON's lips speaking. The corner pocket. KILGORE shoots and puts the ball in the corner pocket. Water flows. A drip falls in reverse-motion out of a puddle. KILGORE shoots again.
KILGORE: We win.
Fade out.
SCENE VII
EGON sits blankly in a chair as MARY stares at a blank canvas.
MARY (frustrated): What goes here?
EGON: The colour blue.
MARY: What?
EGON: The colour blue goes there. In a line.
EGON in slow motion, white-washed and dreamy, weeping and dripping with water. Physics diagrams. Tables of mathematic equations. A ball rolls into a pocket in a pool table. Water flows. Paint flows.
SCENE VIII
KILGORE and MARY are in the drab room.
MARY (yelling): You can't go on using him like that -- for gambling and cheating! It's degrading to him.
KILGORE (shouting): Look who's talking, Mary. You're using him to paint your goddamn pictures for you!
MARY: He helps me explore the images I'm going to create -- they're still mine! He's very sensitive, and he should be respected.
KILGORE: Respected, huh?
MARY: Not used as some magic puppet to advance your career goals!
SCENE IX
EGON is sitting in the barren park. We see a dreamy image of beautiful, lush greenery. We see the barren park. EGON smiles at the beauty.
SCENE X
EGON and KILGORE are sitting at the little table with textbooks.
KILGORE: It'll be multiple choice?
EGON: I think so. I can't remember.
KILGORE: Why not?
EGON: I'm going to have a lot on my mind.
KILGORE: Oh.
Fade out.
Scene XI
EGON and MARY are working on her painting.
EGON: This painting gets ruined by a red splatter.
MARY: So I won't use any more red.
She puts the red can aside. Pause.
MARY: You've been a great help to me, Egon.
EGON: I have? That makes me happy. How did I help you?
MARY: You got rid of my painters' block.
EGON: That was very nice of me.
Pause.
MARY: You're so wonderful, Egon. Everything's so simple to you. You're always so willing to help.
EGON: You and Kilgore are my friends.
MARY: You're very sensitive.
EGON: Thank you.
She leans over and kisses him passionately.
EGON: Thank you.
Scene XII
EGON and KILGORE in the drab room, eating lunch.
KILGORE: Egon...
EGON: Yes, Kilgore?
KILGORE: I was wondering...I wanted to know a little something...about Mary.
EGON pauses, resumes chewing.
KILGORE: She and I have known each other for a while now...and after these exams coming up we were going to go up north together...(Pause.) I was just wondering if...you know -- we get together.
Tense pause.
KILGORE: Well?
EGON: No.
KILGORE: No? Why not?
EGON: Because she will fall in love with me.
Water flows. Red paint splatters. Puddles splash. Return to the drab room.
KILGORE: Jesus, are you sure?
EGON: Yes.
KILGORE: Jesus.
Fade out.
Scene XIII
KILGORE and MARY are arguing in her studio.
MARY: So what? So I kissed him!
KILGORE: Didn't you ever think about me?
MARY: When did we ever have anything together?
KILGORE: Don't you remember that night at Jenny's? What was that?
MARY: I was drunk...I can't remember.
A dreamy image of EGON saying: "I do not remember what has already happened, only what's to be." A drip falls in reverse-motion from a puddle.
Return to the studio. In anger, KILGORE throws a can of red paint and it strikes MARY's latest canvas, splattering all over it.
Fade out.
Scene XIV
EGON and MARY embrace and kiss in slow motion, dreamy and washed out. A pool cue strikes a ball. Water. The pages of a textbook. Darkness.
Red paint splattering on the canvas in slow motion. EGON weeping and wet, throwing his head back and forth in slow motion. Drips flying into the water. Shoes walking through a puddle. Darkness.
KILGORE and MARY silently fighting in slow motion; KILGORE storms out. Puddle. EGON and MARY embrace and kiss. Puddle. Red paint splatters on a canvas. Puddle. A clean, nude boy lies in a foetal position in a puddle of swill. A slow motion splash. Darkness...
KILGORE (voice only): Egon, stop! Stop!
MARY (voice only): What are you doing? No!
Shirtless EGON is in the alley, attempting to climb back into the puddle. He pushes his head into the shallow water, fails, cries out and tries again. KILGORE and MARY are trying to stop him. He is frantic, weeping and wet.
MARY: Please Egon, please!
EGON (hesitating, dripping, gasping): I don't know what it is, but I can tell I've made everyone sad. I'm going away. (Resumes splashing.)
KILGORE: But my exams are in a week! Egon, you've got to help me!
EGON: I cannot help you Kilgore, no one can. What is going to happen in the future is frightening.
KILGORE: Oh no! I knew it!
EGON: You don't understand; it is going to be frightening no matter what you do -- not just for you, for everyone.
MARY: Something terrible is going to happen?
EGON: Something terrible will happen or it will not happen -- your worry changes nothing.
KILGORE: I have to be prepared.
EGON: No! (EGON grabs KILGORE, speaking emphatically.) Live now Kilgore, and be good. If you're good you'll be as prepared as you can be for whatever comes. (Drops back to the puddle.) And if what I do next is good, then I can believe that what I have done in the invisible past is also good.
KILGORE: But that's such a shot in the dark.
MARY: And what if I get blocked again? It's doesn't matter how nice I am.
EGON: To be good is to be open. You must invite your pictures to come to you, and have faith they will answer. Live as if, and the day will catch up to you.
KILGORE: But Egon, we need you now!
EGON: I will have to be going.
KILGORE: You just can't leave us like this!
MARY: Egon, I love you!
EGON: I will have to be going.
KILGORE: Egon, no!
MARY: Egon!
EGON begins to sink into the puddle. Images flash by rapidly.
Return to the alley. Egon's shoulders disappear into the puddle. As his head sinks he looks up at MARY and KILGORE, and smiles.
EGON: Oh, hello. My name is Egon Bottle.
Images flash by even more rapidly.
EGON vanishes beneath the bracken pool. Fade to black.
Cut to KILGORE and MARY kneeling in the alley from above, looking desolate and hopeless. Pause.
Darkness.
Superimposed: Cast, production credits, and so on.
Fin.
